This is the official blog of Northern Arizona slam poet Christopher Fox Graham. Begun in 2002, and transferred to blogspot in 2006, FoxTheBlog has recorded more than 670,000 hits since 2009. This blog cover's Graham's poetry, the Arizona poetry slam community and offers tips for slam poets from sources around the Internet. Read CFG's full biography here. Looking for just that one poem? You know the one ... click here to find it.
Showing posts with label Haiku Death Match. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Haiku Death Match. Show all posts

Sunday, March 31, 2024

Haiku Death Match at Heritage Square on April 13, as part of the Northern Arizona Book Festival


The Sedona Poetry Slam and Northern Arizona Book Festival are co-hosting a head-to-head Haiku Death Match at Heritage Square on April 13, as part of the 2024 Northern Arizona Book Festival. The event features $600 in prizes: $300 for first, $200 for second, $100 for third place.

Haiku (俳句) is a form of Japanese poetry consisting of 17 syllables in three metrical phrases of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

Japanese haiku typically contain a kigo, or seasonal reference, and a kireji or verbal caesura. 
In Japanese, haiku are traditionally printed in a single vertical line, while haiku in English usually appear in three lines (5-7-5 syllables), to parallel the three metrical phrases of Japanese haiku.


A Haiku Death Match is a competitive poetry duel that is a subgenre of poetry slam. The Haiku Death Match is a prominent feature at the annual National Poetry Slam, replete with full costume for the host.
Slam haiku used in a Haiku Death Match is far simpler than traditional Japanese style haiku: The kigo and kireji can be omitted.


Slam haiku are simply three or fewer lines of exactly 17 syllables, no more, no less. Slam haiku can be anything from a single 17-syllable sing line or simply 17 words.

"Old Pond’’ by Matsuo Bashō [1644-1694] — a haiga in his own handwriting

Matsuo Bashō [1644-1694], born Matsuo Kinsaku, later known as Matsuo Chūemon Munefusa was the most famous Japanese poet of the Edo period. Bashō's most famous haiku:
古池や 
蛙飛び込む 
水の音

koike ya
kaeru tobikomu
mizu no on

Translated by Robert Hass as
Old pond…
a frog jumps in
water’s sound

やがて死ぬ
けしきは見え
ず蝉の声

yagate shinu 
keshiki wa miezu 
semi no koe

Translated by David G. Lanoue as:
The cry of the cicada
Gives us no sign
That presently it will die.


A standard Haiku Death Match is conducted thus:
⏹The host randomly draws the names of two poets, known as haikusters, from the pool of competitors.
⏹The haikusters adorn headbands of two colors: Red and Not-Red (white).
⏹Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other to demostrate they are friendly and that a Haiku Death Match is ultimately a silly thing.
⏹Red Haikuster goes first.
⏹The Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. The audience does not clap or make noise (usually, though, they laugh or vocalize, but, of course, we must pretend that this is completely unacceptable).
⏹The Not-Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. Again, the audience does not clap or make noise.
⏹The host waits for the three judges to make their choice for winner, then signals them to hold aloft their Red or Not-Red flag.
⏹Simple majority (3-0 or 2-1) determines the winner.
⏹The host asks the audience to demonstrate “the sound of one hand clapping,” i.e., silence, then “the sound of two hands clapping,” at which point they can finally applaud. The mock ceremony involving the audience is half the fun.
⏹The winning haikuster of that round then goes first.
Depending on the round, the winner will be best 3 of 5, 4 of 7, best 5 of 9, etc., of a number determined beforehand for each round.
After the duel, Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other and shake hands. The next duel begins.

Haiku by Matsuo Bashō:
"Quietly, quietly,
yellow mountain roses fall –
sound of the rapids"
Rules for the Haiku Death Match:
⏹Register: E-mail at foxthepoet@yahoo.com
⏹Participation: Anyone can compete.
⏹No Titles: Haikusters shall not read the title of the haiku. Just the 17-syllable haiku itself.
⏹While some haiku are merely three lines, Death Match Haiku must be 17 syllables exactly.
⏹Haikusters shall read the haiku twice, first for initial recitation, the second time for proper digestion. 
⏹Originality: Poets must be the sole authors of the haiku they use in competition. Plagiarized or others' haiku are grounds for disqualification. We all love Matsuo Bashō, but he’s 300 years too dead to compete.
⏹Preparation: Poets can have haiku written beforehand or write them in their head while at the mic. As long as the haiku are 17 syllables, we don’t care how, when or from where the haiku originates. 
Poets can read from the page, book, journal, notepad, smartphone, etc. 
⏹Rounds: Will be determined by the number of haikusters who sign up to compete.
⏹Quantity of haiku needed: Depends on the number of rounds. 30 haiku will likely be enough for poets who push rounds to the last haiku needed and go all the rounds, but 20 haiku might be enough. 50 to 100 gives haikusters enough material to be flexible in competition. Most veteran haikusters have several hundred to compete with.
If you run out of pre-written haiku, you can make them up on the mic and count on your fingers; that's perfectly fine.
⏹Adult themes and language. Remember that this is a live event and content of haiku will not be known ahead of time, but the event takes place at Heritage Square at a family friendly event. Please respect the audience, There may be children present so you may have to deal with their parents afterward. 
⏹Judges: Three random people at the event will be selected as the judges. Using the "fluid rule," the judges cannot share bodily fluids with any of the haikusters (i.e., no parents, siblings, blood relatives, children, spouses or lovers) and hope that the judges are not related and the event is fair. We will ask the haikusters before the Death Match if that rule applies to any judges before the event begins.
⏹Draw: We will pull two names from a hat containing the names of the competitors before each duel. If your name is drawn, you must haiku in that duel.
⏹Third Place: When we get to the final four haikusters, the top two will advance. The two defeated haikusters will then compete for third place, and the $100 prize, before the top two haikusters compete for first place ($300) and second place ($200).

This sheet of kaishi writing paper is inscribed with verse by Japan’s most famous haiku poet, Matsuo Bashō, and one of his pupils in the teacher’s own handwriting. When this work was first publically displayed at Seattle Asian Art Museum in 2015, it created a small sensation among literary specialists in Japan because not only were the Bashō poems recorded here previously unknown, the work must date to relatively early in his career as a poet, before he turned 40. In the West, it would be the equivalent of discovering a manuscript with previously unpublished poems by (Bashō’s contemporary) John Milton in his own hand. At the time of the discovery, the Bashō expert professor Tamaki Tsukasa stated that the handwriting, seal, and signature could also be authenticated as genuine.
Credit: Mary and Cheney Cowles Collection, Gift of Mary and Cheney Cowles, 2018, The Met


What’s the Best Strategy to Win a Haiku Death Match?
⏹A winning haikuster is flexible.
⏹If your opponent reads a serious or deep haiku, read one that is more serious or more profound, or go on the opposite tack and read something funny.
⏹If your opponent reads a funny haiku, read one that is funnier, or go on the opposite tack and read something serious or deep.
⏹If your opponent makes fun of you, make fun of yourself even bigger or make fun of them. A good head-to-head haiku can work wonders and often wins a Haiku duel. 
⏹If you’re on stage and you get an idea for a haiku, feel free to write it down immediately. That might be the next round’s haiku that wins you the duel.
⏹Have a good time. Even if don't get past the first round, it's still a great time for all.
⏹You get to read the haiku twice, so let that play into how you read it. You may want to read it verbatim with the same inflection or intonation, or you may want to emphasize a different portion of the haiku the second time. You may also use the repetition to your advantage and write a haiku about repeating yourself.

Poet Matsuo Bashō meets two farmers celebrating the mid-autumn moon festival in an 1891 print by Tsukioka Yoshitoshi from "Hundred Aspects of the Moon." The haiku reads:
“Since the crescent moon,
I have been waiting
for tonight.”



The Robert Spiess Memorial 2012 Haiku Awards
nautical chart
I touch the depth
of my mother’s ashes
— Scott Mason, First Prize

slave quarters ...
the shapes of their shadows
in this dust
— Duro Jaiye, Second Prize

shades of blue ...
the deer’s remaining eye
cradled by bone
— Susan Constable, Third Prize

winter dusk
my grief released
from the crow’s throat
— Margaret Chula, Honorable Mention

formation of geese —
a log opens
to the woodsman’s maul
— Michele L. Harvey, Honorable Mention

I seem to be
an intermittent shadow . . .
summer clouds
— Kirsty Karkow, Honorable Mention


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

GumptionFest IX hosts the sixth annual Haiku Death Match in Sedona

GumptionFest IX's Haiku Death Match, aka GF9HDM

A Haiku Death Match is a competitive poetry duel that is a subgenre of poetry slam. The Haiku Death Match is a prominent feature at the annual National Poetry Slam, replete with full costume for the host.

At GumptionFest IX, we will hold the Sixth Annual Haiku Death Match. It takes place on Saturday, Sept. 20 from 4 to 5 p.m. at Posse Grounds Park.

What is haiku?
Haiku (俳句) is a form of Japanese poetry consisting of 17 syllables in three metrical phrases of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

Japanese haiku typically contain a kigo, or seasonal reference, and a kireji or verbal caesura. In Japanese, haiku are traditionally printed in a single vertical line, while haiku in English usually appear in three lines, to parallel the three metrical phrases of Japanese haiku.

What is slam haiku?
Slam haiku used in a Haiku Death Match is far simpler: Use of three or fewer lines of 17 syllables. Slam haiku can be anything from a single 17-syllable line or simply 17 words. Two of mine:

Traditional 5-7-5 haiku
Serial Killer Haiku
Funny you should ask
my trunk can fit two Boy Scouts
and a grandmother

American 17-syllable haiku
Grammar Haiku:
Why isn't "phonetic" spelled phonetically?
While you think, let's make out

A standard Haiku Death Match is conducted thus:
The host randomly draws the names of two poets, known as haikusters, from the pool of competitors.
The haikusters adorn headbands of two colors: Red and Not-Red (white).
Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Not-Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other.
Red Haikuster goes first.
The Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. The audience does not clap or make noise (usually, though, they laugh or vocalize, but, of course, we must pretend that this is completely unacceptable).
The Not-Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. Again, the audience does not clap or make noise.
The host waits for the three judges to make their choice for winner, then signals them to hold aloft their Red or Not-Red flag.
Simple majority (3-0 or 2-1) determines the winner.
The host asks the audience to demonstrate “the sound of one hand clapping,” i.e., silence, then “the sound of two hands clapping,” at which point they can finally applaud. The mock ceremony involving the audience is half the fun.
The winning haikuster then goes first.
Depending on the round, the winner will be best 3 of 5, 4 of 7, best 5 of 9, etc., of a number determined beforehand for each round.
After the duel, Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other and shake hands. The next duel begins.

Rules for the GumptionFest VII Haiku Death Match:
  • Titles: Haikusters can read their haiku titles before they read the haiku. (This gives the haikusters technically more syllables to put the haiku in context, but the haiku itself must still be only 17 syllables. While this is not “pure” Haiku Death Match rules, it’s much more fun for the audience.
  • Originality: Poets must be the sole authors of the haiku they use in competition. Plagiarized haiku are grounds for disqualification. We all love Matsuo Bashō, but he’s 300 years too dead to compete.
  • On-page or memorized?: Poets can read from the page, book, journal, notepad, etc.
  • Preparation: Poets can have haiku written beforehand or write them in their head while at the mic. As long as the haiku are 17 syllables, we don’t care how, when or from where the haiku originates.
  • Rounds: Will be determined by the number of haikusters who sign up to compete.
  • Quantity of haiku needed: Depends on the number of rounds. 30 haiku will likely be enough for poets who push rounds to the last haiku needed and go all the rounds, but 50 to 100 gives haikusters enough material to be flexible in competition. Most veteran haikusters have several hundred to compete with.
  • Censorship: Adult themes and language are acceptable. There may be children present so you may have to deal with their parents afterward, but that’s your call.
  • Register: E-mail me at foxthepoet@yahoo.com or GumptionFest at GumptionFest@gmail.com.
What’s the Best Strategy to Win?
  • A winning haikuster is flexible.
  • If your opponent reads a serious or deep haiku, read one that is more serious or more profound, or go on the opposite tack and read something funny.
  • If your opponent reads a funny haiku, read one that is funnier, or go on the opposite tack and read something serious or deep.
  • If your opponent makes fun of you, make fun of yourself even bigger or make fun of them. A good head-to-head haiku can work wonders and often wins a Haiku duel. For instance, my “Damien Flores Haiku,” “Easy way to win: / Damien is 20, Officer, / and he's drunk."
  • If you’re on stage and you get an idea for a haiku, feel free to write it down immediately. That might be the next round’s haiku that wins you the duel.
  • Have a good time. Even if don't get past the first round, it's still a great time for all.
Still Scared of Haiku?
Don't be, they're easy to write. Haiku Death Match haiku are not likely to be remembered centuries from now, so don't stress out. Write short poems that you find entertaining and enjoyable.

The Robert Spiess Memorial 2012 Haiku Awards

nautical chart
I touch the depth
of my mother’s ashes
— Scott Mason, First Prize


slave quarters ...
the shapes of their shadows
in this dust
— Duro Jaiye, Second Prize


shades of blue ...
the deer’s remaining eye
cradled by bone
— Susan Constable, Third Prize

winter dusk
my grief released
from the crow’s throat
— Margaret Chula, Honorable Mention

formation of geese —
a log opens
to the woodsman’s maul
— Michele L. Harvey, Honorable Mention

I seem to be
an intermittent shadow . . .
summer clouds
— Kirsty Karkow, Honorable Mention

Anonymous Haiku:


Haiku are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense ...
refrigerator

she dances lithely
seduction under the moon
I ... hey, a nickel!

My life is Jello
Sitting, waiting in the bowl
Patiently to gel

"Doom" Haiku:
Frag demons for hours
Stare at the screen with red eyes
it's time for class

Cat haiku:
The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand
New rule tomorrow

Dog haiku:
You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
"Elevator butt."

Zombie Haiku:
Brains brains brains brains brains
Brains brains brains brains brain brains brains
Brains brains, shotgun, BAM!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

GumptionFest's annual Haiku Death Match only 2 days away ....

Time to get writing, poets. The Haiku Death Match nears.
You need about 20 haiku to compete. The more, the better, however.

GumptionFest VII's Haiku Death Match, aka GF7HDM

As in past years, we will hold a Haiku Death Match, (not a "death match" per se, but a Head-to-Head Haiku Slam), at GumptionFest VII. GumptionFest VII will be Friday to Sunday, Sept. 14 to 16, along Coffee Pot Drive and State Route 89A in West Sedona.

The Haiku Death Match will be held Saturday, Sept. 15 at 5 p.m. at the Szechuan Martini Bar, on the north side of State Route 89A.

Challenge last year's champion, Teresa Newkirk,
and vie for the
Grand Prize of $17

A Haiku Poetry Slam is a competitive poetry duel that is a subgenre of poetry slam. The Haiku Poetry Slam is a prominent feature at the annual National Poetry Slam, replete with full costume for the host, in the style of former NPS hosts Daniel Ferri and Jim Nave and current NPS host Taz Yamaguchi.

At GumptionFest VII, we will attempt to hold a Haiku Death Match as similar to the NPS Haiku Poetry Slam version as possible.

Can you beat The Klute, the 2010 GumptionFest Grand Haikuster?
What is haiku?
Haiku (俳句) is a form of Japanese poetry consisting of 17 syllables in three metrical phrases of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

Japanese haiku typically contain a kigo, or seasonal reference, and a kireji or verbal caesura. In Japanese, haiku are traditionally printed in a single vertical line, while haiku in English usually appear in three lines, to parallel the three metrical phrases of Japanese haiku.

What is slam haiku?
Slam haiku used in a Haiku Death Match is far simpler: Use of three or fewer lines of 17 syllables. Slam haiku can be anything from a single 17-syllable line or simply 17 words.

A standard Haiku Death Match is conducted thus:
The host randomly draws the names of two poets, known as haikusters, from the pool of competitors.
The haikusters adorn headbands of two colors: Red and Not-Red (white).
Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Not-Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other.
Red Haikuster goes first.
The Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. The audience does not clap or make noise (usually, though, they laugh or vocalize, but, of course, we must pretend that this is completely unacceptable).
The Not-Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. Again, the audience does not clap or make noise.
The host waits for the three judges to make their choice for winner, then signals them to hold aloft their Red or Not-Red flag.
Simple majority (3-0 or 2-1) determines the winner.
The host asks the audience to demonstrate “the sound of one hand clapping,” i.e., silence, then “the sound of two hands clapping,” at which point they can finally applaud. The mock ceremony involving the audience is half the fun.
The winning haikuster then goes first.
Depending on the round, the winner will be best 3 of 5, 4 of 7, best 5 of 9, etc., of a number determined beforehand for each round.
After the duel, Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other and shake hands. The next duel begins.
Rules for the GumptionFest VI Haiku Death Match:
  • Titles: Haikusters can read their haiku titles before they read the haiku. (This gives the haikusters technically more syllables to put the haiku in context, but the haiku itself must still be only 17 syllables. While this is not “pure” Haiku Death Match rules, it’s much more fun for the audience.

  • Originality: Poets must be the sole authors of the haiku they use in competition. Plagiarized haiku are grounds for disqualification. We all love Matsuo Bashō, but he’s 300 years too dead to compete.

  • On-page or memorized?: Poets can read from the page, book, journal, notepad, etc.

  • Preparation: Poets can have haiku written beforehand or write them in their head while at the mic. As long as the haiku are 17 syllables, we don’t care how, when or from where the haiku originates.

  • Rounds: Will be determined by the number of haikusters who sign up to compete.

  • Quantity of haiku needed: Depends on the number of rounds. 30 haiku will likely be enough for poets who push rounds to the last haiku needed and go all the rounds, but 50 to 100 gives haikusters enough material to be flexible in competition. Most veteran haikusters have several hundred to compete with.

  • Censorship: Adult themes and language are acceptable. There may be children present so you may have to deal with their parents afterward, but that’s your call.

  • Register early: E-mail me at foxthepoet@yahoo.com.
What’s the Best Strategy to Win?
  • A winning haikuster is flexible.

  • If your opponent reads a serious or deep haiku, read one that is more serious or more profound, or go on the opposite tack and read something funny.

  • If your opponent reads a funny haiku, read one that is funnier, or go on the opposite tack and read something serious or deep.

  • If your opponent makes fun of you, make fun of yourself even bigger or make fun of them. A good head-to-head haiku can work wonders and often wins a Haiku duel. For instance, my “Damien Flores Haiku,” “Easy way to win: / Damien is 20, Officer, / and he's drunk."

  • If you’re on stage and you get an idea for a haiku, feel free to write it down immediately. That might be the next round’s haiku that wins you the duel.

  • Have a good time. Even if don't get past the first round, it's still a great time for all.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Poets at GumptionFest VII

Poets at GumptionFest VII

Friday, Sept. 14, 7 p.m., @ Szechuan Martini Bar:

Christopher Fox Graham, host of the Sedona Poetry Slam and member of the 2001, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2010 and 2012 Flagstaff National Poetry Slam Teams

Christopher Fox Graham, photo by Harley Deuce
Christopher Fox Graham is a poet living in Sedona, Arizona.
Beginning his performance poetry career in 2000, Graham has been a member of six Flagstaff National Poetry Slam teams, representing Flagstaff in 2001, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2010 and 2012. Graham won the Flagstaff Poetry Grand Slam championship in 2004 and 2012.
Graham was part of the Save the Male Tour, a four-man international spoken word tour in 2002 that performed in 26 states over three months.
In 2005 and 2006, Graham’s teams won the Slab City Slam at Arcosanti, the state’s poetry slam team championships.
Since 2006, Graham has been the poetry coordinator of GumptionFest, a free, grassroots arts festival in Sedona.
In 2008, he founded the Sedona Poetry Slam and became a slammaster in 2012, sponsoring the inaugural Sedona National Poetry Slam Team. Graham was a featured performer at the invitation-only 2012 Desert Rocks Music Festival.
Graham has published five books of poetry and a spoken word CD, and been published in six anthologies of spoken word and in two DVDs of Grand Slam Championships. He has been featured in two films on the
Sedona art scene.
Graham has performed poetry for MTV, The Travel Channel and at venues in nearly 40 states, Canada, Ireland and Great Britain.
His blog, FoxThePoet.Blogspot.com, features his work and those of other national poets and Sedona artists, recording more than 2,000 hits a week.

Friday, Sept. 14, 10 p.m., @ Olde Sedona Bar & Grill:

Evan Dissinger, a member of the 2012 Sedona National Poetry Slam Team.

Evan Dissinger, photo by Kelly Watts
Acrylic tattooed skateboards, the sound of concrete waves crashing, rock ’n’ roll to pass the time, marijuana cigarettes, and candle light dinners eaten alone.
Evan Dissinger like to paint and laugh in kinetic conversations.
He enjoys watching Atlas shoulder tomorrows promises, no sun rise should be taken for granted.
Dissinger and his cat, Azula, both smile at serendipitous psychedelic situations. He doesn’t believe in cops, bosses or politicians, some call that anarchism, He calls it having a fucking heart that beats. He believes in being honest, especially if it means being wrong, self-reliance is a product of self-responsibility.
Joe Strummer said his motivation to wake every morning was the ability to think. That gift is the one certainty we have in this life, the simple knowledge that we are here, right now, everything else should be subject to question.
Dissinger is infatuated with the human experience. There is no wrong way to live life as long as you can recognize fleeting moments of true lucid beauty.
Don’t check out early, there are great stories and warm coffee here, there is no way the next life will be as vivid visceral.
Live as if this were a dream and nothing can stop you from knowing who you are.

Saturday, Sept. 15, 5 p.m., @ Szechuan Martini Bar:

4th annual Haiku Death Match

The GumptionFest VII Haiku Death Match is open to all attendees of GumptionFest VII.

What is haiku?

Haiku (俳句) is a form of Japanese poetry consisting of 17 syllables in three metrical phrases of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.
Japanese haiku typically contain a kigo, or seasonal reference, and a kireji or verbal caesura. In Japanese, haiku are traditionally printed in a single vertical line, while haiku in English usually appear in three lines, to parallel the three metrical phrases of Japanese haiku.

What is slam haiku?

lam haiku used in a Haiku Death Match is far simpler: Use of three or fewer lines of 17 syllables. Slam haiku can be anything from a single 17-syllable line or simply 17 words.

What are the Haiku Death Match rules?

  • Titles: Haikusters can read their haiku titles before they read the haiku. (This gives the haikusters technically more syllables to put the haiku in context, but the haiku itself must still be only 17 syllables. While this is not “pure” Haiku Death Match rules, it’s much more fun for the audience.
  • Originality: Poets must be the sole authors of the haiku they use in competition. Plagiarized haiku are grounds for disqualification. We all love Matsuo Bashō, but he’s 300 years too dead to compete.
  • On-page or memorized?: Poets can read from the page, book, journal, notepad, etc.
  • Preparation: Poets can have haiku written beforehand or write them in their head while at the mic. As long as the haiku are 17 syllables, we don’t care how, when or from where the haiku originates.
  • Rounds: Will be determined by the number of haikusters who sign up to compete.
  • Quantity of haiku needed: Depends on the number of rounds. 30 haiku will likely be enough for poets who push rounds to the last haiku needed and go all the rounds, but 50 to 100 gives haikusters enough material to be flexible in competition. Most veteran haikusters have several hundred to compete with.
  • Censorship: Adult themes and language are acceptable. There may be children present so you may have to deal with their parents afterward, but that’s your call.
  • Register early: E-mail Christopher Fox Graham at foxthepoet@yahoo.com.

Saturday, Sept. 15, 7 p.m., @ Szechuan Martini Bar:

The Klute, a member of the 2002, 2003, 2005 and 2006 Mesa National Poetry Slam Teams, the 2008, 2009, 2010, 2012 Phoenix National Poetry Slam Team, a two-time National Poetry Slam semi-finalist, and winner of the 2010 GumptionFest Haiku Death Match

The Klute, photo by Jessica Mason-Paull
The Klute, aka Bernard Schober, competed at the National Poetry Slam six times, for the Mesa Slam Team in 2002, 2003, 2005 and 2006, and the Phoenix Slam Slam Team in 2008 and 2009, 2010 and 2012. He has led two of those teams to the NPS semi-final stage, ranking him among the best of the best nationwide. He was also the Mesa Grand Slam champion in 2005 and 2010.
Standing more than 6 feet tall and always bedecked in
a black trench coat, the Klute is hard to miss. When
poetry escapes his lips at full blast, he’s hard not to hear.
In an era when most artists and poets shy away from confronting politics, the Klute stands apart.
He has earned a reputation for in-your-face political commentary and over-the-top humor targeting Neo-Conservative politicians, crass laissez-faire commercialism and Goth subculture.
Originally from south Florida, The Klute writes almost exclusively in free verse, making his poetry conversational and relevant to even those who see poetry as something to avoid.
Standing more than 6 feet tall and always bedecked in a black trench coat, the Klute is hard to miss. When poetry escapes his lips at full blast, he’s hard not to hear.
The Klute has released three poetry chapbooks, “Escape Velocity,” “Look at What America Has Done to Me” and “My American Journey,” which prompted a cease and desist order from the attorneys of former Secretary of State Colin Powell.
“Despite the heat, [The Klute] wears a black trench coat almost everywhere he goes and if the setting permits, he’ll blast through enough slanderous commentary to make Andrew Dice Clay blush,” according to Phoenix 944 Magazine. “Today, his addiction for getting in front of the microphone and spitting out everything from a Dick Cheney haiku to a long-winded prose on race car driving to the late Hunter S. Thompson is as strong as his love for vodka and absinthe. If anyone’s seen ‘The Klute’ in action, they’d know it. If they haven’t, they must.”

Saturday, Sept. 15, 9:30 p.m. @ Oak Creek Brewing Co.:

Ryan Brown, a member of the the 2008, 2009, 2010, 2012 Flagstaff National Poetry Slam Teams, and 2008 National Poetry Slam semi-finalist

Ryan Brown, photo by Tara Graeber
Born twenty-three years ago in Phoenix, Arizona, Ryan Brown has been writing and performing poetry in Northern Arizona for nearly five years.
After discovering Flagstaff’s FlagSlam in 2007, Brown began writing poetry with a small group of like-minded young people, eventually taking over as the slam’s Slammaster in the fall of 2008. That year, the Flagstaff poetry scene saw features such as Gypsee Yo and Andrea Gibson hit Flagstaff stages for the first time, reinvigorating a slam community that pulled poets from Northern Arizona University, Sedona, and Phoenix to create one of the largest consistent poetry slams in Arizona.
After slamming at his first National Poetry Slam in 2008, Brown began to focus his writing more on the ideals of community, social networking, and the ever-cliché but always boundless topics of love, intimate relationships, and human connection.
Teaming up with Frank O’Brien on Flagstaff nationals teams in 2008, 2009, and 2010, Brown worked on herb and coffee farms in Hawaii in late 2010, eventually coming back to NAU to get an English degree with the class of 2012. The
FlagSlam took place at Sundara Boutique for the 2011-12 season, thriving in an all-ages scene that draws upwards of 75 people on a schoolnight, poets flocking from miles away.
Currently the Flagstaff Slammaster, Brown’s passion for poetry and poetic expression can be rivaled by his love of baseball, skateboarding, and patio conversations with a few good friends, or a couple of brothers.
He cites John Cartier, Frank O’Brien, Jessica Guadarrama, Aaron Johnson, and Josh Wiss as his biggest influences, both in poetry and in life, and would like to give a shout-out to his pug-terrier Pip, whom he passed on to another family before taking off to Hawaii.
Peace, homie.

Sunday, Sept. 16 5:45 p.m. @ Szechuan Martini Bar:

Tara Pollock, a member of the 2012 Flagstaff National Poetry Slam Team

Tara Pollack, photo by Tara Graeber
Tara Pollock has been writing poetry since she was a young girl, and performing poetry on and off throughout her adult life.
She is excited to have the opportunity to be on Flagstaff’s 2012 National Poetry Slam Team. She seeks to inspire, liberate, and uplift through her words.
The creative force of poetry has been a catalyst for her personal evolution, as well as providing a medium through which she has come to know herself more deeply, and to share herself with her community. She is currently finishing her Biology degree at Northern Arizona University with plans to attend Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine in the fall of 2013.
When she is not knee deep in books, pens, and paper, she can be found teaching yoga, hiking, dancing or cooking.

Sunday, Sept. 16, 9:30 p.m. Olde Sedona Bar & Grill:

Dan Seaman, longtime Prescott are poet and founder and host of the Slab City Slam, Arizona’s state poetry team championship from 2001-2007

Dan Seaman is a performance poet and fire dancer
Dan Seaman is a second-generation Arizonan who was encouraged to continue writing poetry … despite the obvious physical contradictions of his overtly masculine appearance and furrowed brow.
His work has been described as “realistic romanticism”… and his voice, as “an undertow of emotion”.
Dan was also a co-founder of the 2001-2007 Arizona State Championships held at Arcosanti, diligently planning, hosting, managing and overall making sure the best weekend of poetry is the state lived up to it’s pedigree …

Friday, August 31, 2012

Fourth annual Sedona Haiku Death Match at GumptionFest VII, Sept. 15

GumptionFest VII's Haiku Death Match, aka GF7HDM

As in past years, we will hold a Haiku Death Match, (not a "death match" per se, but a Head-to-Head Haiku Slam), at GumptionFest VII. GumptionFest VII will be Friday to Sunday, Sept. 14 to 16, along Coffee Pot Drive and State Route 89A in West Sedona.

The Haiku Death Match will be held Saturday, Sept. 15 at 5 p.m. at the Szechuan Martini Bar, on the north side of State Route 89A.

Challenge last year's champion, Teresa Newkirk,
and vie for the
Grand Prize of $17

A Haiku Poetry Slam is a competitive poetry duel that is a subgenre of poetry slam. The Haiku Poetry Slam is a prominent feature at the annual National Poetry Slam, replete with full costume for the host, in the style of former NPS hosts Daniel Ferri and Jim Nave and current NPS host Taz Yamaguchi.

At GumptionFest VII, we will attempt to hold a Haiku Death Match as similar to the NPS Haiku Poetry Slam version as possible.

Can you beat The Klute, the 2010 GumptionFest Grand Haikuster?
What is haiku?
Haiku (俳句) is a form of Japanese poetry consisting of 17 syllables in three metrical phrases of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

Japanese haiku typically contain a kigo, or seasonal reference, and a kireji or verbal caesura. In Japanese, haiku are traditionally printed in a single vertical line, while haiku in English usually appear in three lines, to parallel the three metrical phrases of Japanese haiku.

What is slam haiku?
Slam haiku used in a Haiku Death Match is far simpler: Use of three or fewer lines of 17 syllables. Slam haiku can be anything from a single 17-syllable line or simply 17 words.

A standard Haiku Death Match is conducted thus:
The host randomly draws the names of two poets, known as haikusters, from the pool of competitors.
The haikusters adorn headbands of two colors: Red and Not-Red (white).
Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Not-Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other.
Red Haikuster goes first.
The Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. The audience does not clap or make noise (usually, though, they laugh or vocalize, but, of course, we must pretend that this is completely unacceptable).
The Not-Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. Again, the audience does not clap or make noise.
The host waits for the three judges to make their choice for winner, then signals them to hold aloft their Red or Not-Red flag.
Simple majority (3-0 or 2-1) determines the winner.
The host asks the audience to demonstrate “the sound of one hand clapping,” i.e., silence, then “the sound of two hands clapping,” at which point they can finally applaud. The mock ceremony involving the audience is half the fun.
The winning haikuster then goes first.
Depending on the round, the winner will be best 3 of 5, 4 of 7, best 5 of 9, etc., of a number determined beforehand for each round.
After the duel, Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other and shake hands. The next duel begins.
Rules for the GumptionFest VI Haiku Death Match:
  • Titles: Haikusters can read their haiku titles before they read the haiku. (This gives the haikusters technically more syllables to put the haiku in context, but the haiku itself must still be only 17 syllables. While this is not “pure” Haiku Death Match rules, it’s much more fun for the audience.

  • Originality: Poets must be the sole authors of the haiku they use in competition. Plagiarized haiku are grounds for disqualification. We all love Matsuo Bashō, but he’s 300 years too dead to compete.

  • On-page or memorized?: Poets can read from the page, book, journal, notepad, etc.

  • Preparation: Poets can have haiku written beforehand or write them in their head while at the mic. As long as the haiku are 17 syllables, we don’t care how, when or from where the haiku originates.

  • Rounds: Will be determined by the number of haikusters who sign up to compete.

  • Quantity of haiku needed: Depends on the number of rounds. 30 haiku will likely be enough for poets who push rounds to the last haiku needed and go all the rounds, but 50 to 100 gives haikusters enough material to be flexible in competition. Most veteran haikusters have several hundred to compete with.

  • Censorship: Adult themes and language are acceptable. There may be children present so you may have to deal with their parents afterward, but that’s your call.

  • Register early: E-mail me at foxthepoet@yahoo.com.
What’s the Best Strategy to Win?
  • A winning haikuster is flexible.

  • If your opponent reads a serious or deep haiku, read one that is more serious or more profound, or go on the opposite tack and read something funny.

  • If your opponent reads a funny haiku, read one that is funnier, or go on the opposite tack and read something serious or deep.

  • If your opponent makes fun of you, make fun of yourself even bigger or make fun of them. A good head-to-head haiku can work wonders and often wins a Haiku duel. For instance, my “Damien Flores Haiku,” “Easy way to win: / Damien is 20, Officer, / and he's drunk."

  • If you’re on stage and you get an idea for a haiku, feel free to write it down immediately. That might be the next round’s haiku that wins you the duel.

  • Have a good time. Even if don't get past the first round, it's still a great time for all.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

GumptionFest VII hosts the fourth annual Haiku Death Match in Sedona

GumptionFest VII's Haiku Death Match, aka GF7HDM

A Haiku Death Match is a competitive poetry duel that is a subgenre of poetry slam. The Haiku Death Match is a prominent feature at the annual National Poetry Slam, replete with full costume for the host.

At GumptionFest VII, we will hold the Fourth Annual Haiku Death Match. It takes place on Saturday, Sept. 15. Stage and time yet to be determined.

What is haiku?
Haiku (俳句) is a form of Japanese poetry consisting of 17 syllables in three metrical phrases of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

Japanese haiku typically contain a kigo, or seasonal reference, and a kireji or verbal caesura. In Japanese, haiku are traditionally printed in a single vertical line, while haiku in English usually appear in three lines, to parallel the three metrical phrases of Japanese haiku.

What is slam haiku?
Slam haiku used in a Haiku Death Match is far simpler: Use of three or fewer lines of 17 syllables. Slam haiku can be anything from a single 17-syllable line or simply 17 words. Two of mine:
Traditional 5-7-5 haiku
Serial Killer Haiku
Funny you should ask
my trunk can fit two Boy Scouts
and a grandmother

American 17-syllable haiku
Grammar Haiku:
Why isn't "phonetic" spelled phonetically?
While you think, let's make out

A standard Haiku Death Match is conducted thus:
The host randomly draws the names of two poets, known as haikusters, from the pool of competitors.
The haikusters adorn headbands of two colors: Red and Not-Red (white).
Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Not-Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other.
Red Haikuster goes first.
The Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. The audience does not clap or make noise (usually, though, they laugh or vocalize, but, of course, we must pretend that this is completely unacceptable).
The Not-Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. Again, the audience does not clap or make noise.
The host waits for the three judges to make their choice for winner, then signals them to hold aloft their Red or Not-Red flag.
Simple majority (3-0 or 2-1) determines the winner.
The host asks the audience to demonstrate “the sound of one hand clapping,” i.e., silence, then “the sound of two hands clapping,” at which point they can finally applaud. The mock ceremony involving the audience is half the fun.
The winning haikuster then goes first.
Depending on the round, the winner will be best 3 of 5, 4 of 7, best 5 of 9, etc., of a number determined beforehand for each round.
After the duel, Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other and shake hands. The next duel begins.

Rules for the GumptionFest VII Haiku Death Match:
  • Titles: Haikusters can read their haiku titles before they read the haiku. (This gives the haikusters technically more syllables to put the haiku in context, but the haiku itself must still be only 17 syllables. While this is not “pure” Haiku Death Match rules, it’s much more fun for the audience.
  • Originality: Poets must be the sole authors of the haiku they use in competition. Plagiarized haiku are grounds for disqualification. We all love Matsuo Bashō, but he’s 300 years too dead to compete.
  • On-page or memorized?: Poets can read from the page, book, journal, notepad, etc.
  • Preparation: Poets can have haiku written beforehand or write them in their head while at the mic. As long as the haiku are 17 syllables, we don’t care how, when or from where the haiku originates.
  • Rounds: Will be determined by the number of haikusters who sign up to compete.
  • Quantity of haiku needed: Depends on the number of rounds. 30 haiku will likely be enough for poets who push rounds to the last haiku needed and go all the rounds, but 50 to 100 gives haikusters enough material to be flexible in competition. Most veteran haikusters have several hundred to compete with.
  • Censorship: Adult themes and language are acceptable. There may be children present so you may have to deal with their parents afterward, but that’s your call.
  • Register: E-mail me at foxthepoet@yahoo.com or GumptionFest at GumptionFest@gmail.com.
What’s the Best Strategy to Win?
  • A winning haikuster is flexible.
  • If your opponent reads a serious or deep haiku, read one that is more serious or more profound, or go on the opposite tack and read something funny.
  • If your opponent reads a funny haiku, read one that is funnier, or go on the opposite tack and read something serious or deep.
  • If your opponent makes fun of you, make fun of yourself even bigger or make fun of them. A good head-to-head haiku can work wonders and often wins a Haiku duel. For instance, my “Damien Flores Haiku,” “Easy way to win: / Damien is 20, Officer, / and he's drunk."
  • If you’re on stage and you get an idea for a haiku, feel free to write it down immediately. That might be the next round’s haiku that wins you the duel.
  • Have a good time. Even if don't get past the first round, it's still a great time for all.
Still Scared of Haiku?
Don't be, they're easy to write. Haiku Death Match haiku are not likely to be remembered centuries from now, so don't stress out. Write short poems that you find entertaining and enjoyable.

The Robert Spiess Memorial 2012 Haiku Awards

nautical chart
I touch the depth
of my mother’s ashes
— Scott Mason, First Prize


slave quarters ...
the shapes of their shadows
in this dust
— Duro Jaiye, Second Prize


shades of blue ...
the deer’s remaining eye
cradled by bone
— Susan Constable, Third Prize

winter dusk
my grief released
from the crow’s throat
— Margaret Chula, Honorable Mention

formation of geese —
a log opens
to the woodsman’s maul
— Michele L. Harvey, Honorable Mention

I seem to be
an intermittent shadow . . .
summer clouds
— Kirsty Karkow, Honorable Mention

Anonymous Haiku:


Haiku are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense ...
refrigerator

she dances lithely
seduction under the moon
I ... hey, a nickel!

My life is Jello
Sitting, waiting in the bowl
Patiently to gel

"Doom" Haiku:
Frag demons for hours
Stare at the screen with red eyes
it's time for class

Cat haiku:
The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand
New rule tomorrow

Dog haiku:
You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
"Elevator butt."

Sunday, September 18, 2011

If the Beastie Boys Were Narcoleptic Haiku



Teresa Newkirk performs the best (and most painful) haiku at the third annual GumptionFest Haiku Death Match. Teresa went on to win the haiku slam.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Need more inspiration before GumptionFest's third annual Haiku Death Match?

GumptionFest VI's Haiku Death Match, aka GF6HDM

As in past years, we will hold a Haiku Death Match, aka Head-to-Head Haiku Slam, at GumptionFest VI: Return of the Art. GumptionFest VI will be Friday to Sunday, Sept. 16 to 18, along Coffee Pot Drive in West Sedona.

The Haiku Death Match will be held Sunday, Sept. 18 at 3 p.m. at the Best of Show Stage, on the corner of Yavapai and Coffee Pot drives.

Challenge last year's champion, The Klute,
and vie for the
Grand Prize of $17

More haiku to inspire you:

first, five syllables
then seven more syllables
five more, then you're done

Your mom's so ugly
she makes onions go cry
ha,ha ha, ha ... burn.

Dancing with the stars,
you left, on a gust of wind...
I used to hold you.
-- Jade Maestas

Solitary crow
atop tree's bare bones
standing watch on shore.
-- C.J. Almeten

Leaves fall and twigs snap
Branches sway and trunk decays
But the roots stay strong
--Tim Yu

Tropical Whirlwind
Rain lash and wind blows non stop
moving off and gone
-- Edward J. Neary

Email Subject Line Haiku
Viagra again!
Can there really be that much
Penile dysfunction?
-- Colleen A. Mayowski

Email leaves the leaves
on the trees; it connects and
saves our world at once
--Sarah Hatch

A sucker is born
every minute they say
which keeps SPAM alive.
--Kris Dougherty

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

GumptionFest's third annual Haiku Death Match nears, so start writing

GumptionFest VI's Haiku Death Match, aka GF6HDM

As in past years, we will hold a Haiku Death Match, aka Head-to-Head Haiku Slam, at GumptionFest VI: Return of the Art. GumptionFest VI will be Friday to Sunday, Sept. 16 to 18, along Coffee Pot Drive in West Sedona.

The Haiku Death Match will be held Sunday, Sept. 18 at 3 p.m. at the Best of Show Stage, on the corner of Yavapai and Coffee Pot drives.

Challenge last year's champion, The Klute,
and vie for the
Grand Prize of $17

Having trouble creating haiku? You can try this, Everypoet.com's Haiku Generator. While the haikus fit the 5-7-5 format, some are incoherent, but others form some creative images. You could take the suggestion and make something better, too. A few:

unaided laughter
sagging stones ringing cows scowl
intently riding

razors blush, pumpkins
emerge frigidly, mist
jingles, ruby hums

rippling limply, cow
excretes, lion ringing cheap
dolphins emerge

bewitched hyena
emerges loudly, heron
saddens, stream moaning

dumb cruel sick birch slides
blindly, retreating, moving
cruel enemy hides

thundershower cries
cries, hobbling
inanely, drily

firstborns spray, breasts leap
hardening, moping, archly
lewdly, decaying

There are 7.62 duodecillion possible combinations, or 7,620,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 which would take 241,463,229,142,900,600,806,144,953,988,900 years to read if you clicked one per second.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Challenge 2010 champion The Klute for title of GumptionFest Grand Haikuster

GumptionFest VI's Haiku Death Match, aka GF6HDM

As in past years, we will hold a Haiku Death Match, aka Head-to-Head Haiku Slam, at GumptionFest VI: Return of the Art. GumptionFest VI will be Friday to Sunday, Sept. 16 to 18, along Coffee Pot Drive in West Sedona.

The Haiku Death Match will be held Sunday, Sept. 18 at 3 p.m. at the Best of Show Stage, on the corner of Yavapai and Coffee Pot drives.

Challenge last year's champion, The Klute,
and vie for the
Grand Prize of $17

A Haiku Death Match is a competitive poetry duel that is a subgenre of poetry slam. The Haiku Death Match is a prominent feature at the annual National Poetry Slam, replete with full costume for the host, Jim Navé from Taos, N.M. or Daniel Ferri.

At GumptionFest VI, we will attempt to hold a Haiku Death Match as similar to the NPS version as possible.

Can you beat The Klute, last year's GumptionFest Grand Haikuster?
What is haiku?
Haiku (俳句) is a form of Japanese poetry consisting of 17 syllables in three metrical phrases of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

Japanese haiku typically contain a kigo, or seasonal reference, and a kireji or verbal caesura. In Japanese, haiku are traditionally printed in a single vertical line, while haiku in English usually appear in three lines, to parallel the three metrical phrases of Japanese haiku.

What is slam haiku?
Slam haiku used in a Haiku Death Match is far simpler: Use of three or fewer lines of 17 syllables. Slam haiku can be anything from a single 17-syllable line or simply 17 words.

A standard Haiku Death Match is conducted thus:
The host randomly draws the names of two poets, known as haikusters, from the pool of competitors.
The haikusters adorn headbands of two colors: Red and Not-Red (white).
Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Not-Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other.
Red Haikuster goes first.
The Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. The audience does not clap or make noise (usually, though, they laugh or vocalize, but, of course, we must pretend that this is completely unacceptable).
The Not-Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. Again, the audience does not clap or make noise.
The host waits for the three judges to make their choice for winner, then signals them to hold aloft their Red or Not-Red flag.
Simple majority (3-0 or 2-1) determines the winner.
The host asks the audience to demonstrate “the sound of one hand clapping,” i.e., silence, then “the sound of two hands clapping,” at which point they can finally applaud. The mock ceremony involving the audience is half the fun.
The winning haikuster then goes first.
Depending on the round, the winner will be best 3 of 5, 4 of 7, best 5 of 9, etc., of a number determined beforehand for each round.
After the duel, Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other and shake hands. The next duel begins.
Rules for the GumptionFest VI Haiku Death Match:
  • Titles: Haikusters can read their haiku titles before they read the haiku. (This gives the haikusters technically more syllables to put the haiku in context, but the haiku itself must still be only 17 syllables. While this is not “pure” Haiku Death Match rules, it’s much more fun for the audience.

  • Originality: Poets must be the sole authors of the haiku they use in competition. Plagiarized haiku are grounds for disqualification. We all love Matsuo Bashō, but he’s 300 years too dead to compete.

  • On-page or memorized?: Poets can read from the page, book, journal, notepad, etc.

  • Preparation: Poets can have haiku written beforehand or write them in their head while at the mic. As long as the haiku are 17 syllables, we don’t care how, when or from where the haiku originates.

  • Rounds: Will be determined by the number of haikusters who sign up to compete.

  • Quantity of haiku needed: Depends on the number of rounds. 30 haiku will likely be enough for poets who push rounds to the last haiku needed and go all the rounds, but 50 to 100 gives haikusters enough material to be flexible in competition. Most veteran haikusters have several hundred to compete with.

  • Censorship: Adult themes and language are acceptable. There may be children present so you may have to deal with their parents afterward, but that’s your call.

  • Register: E-mail me at foxthepoet@yahoo.com or GumptionFest at GumptionFest@gmail.com.
What’s the Best Strategy to Win?
  • A winning haikuster is flexible.

  • If your opponent reads a serious or deep haiku, read one that is more serious or more profound, or go on the opposite tack and read something funny.

  • If your opponent reads a funny haiku, read one that is funnier, or go on the opposite tack and read something serious or deep.

  • If your opponent makes fun of you, make fun of yourself even bigger or make fun of them. A good head-to-head haiku can work wonders and often wins a Haiku duel. For instance, my “Damien Flores Haiku,” “Easy way to win: / Damien is 20, Officer, / and he's drunk."

  • If you’re on stage and you get an idea for a haiku, feel free to write it down immediately. That might be the next round’s haiku that wins you the duel.

  • Have a good time. Even if don't get past the first round, it's still a great time for all.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Haiku Death Match at GumptionFest VI!

GumptionFest VI's Haiku Death Match, aka GF6HDM

As in past years, we will hold a Haiku Death Match at GumptionFest VI.

GumptionFest VI will be Friday to Sunday, Sept. 16 to 18, along Coffee Pot Drive in West Sedona.

The Haiku Death Match will be held Sunday, Sept. 18 at 3 p.m. at the Best of Show Stage, on the corner of Yavapai and Coffee Pot drives.

Grand Prize: $17

A Haiku Death Match is a competitive poetry duel that is a subgenre of poetry slam. The Haiku Death Match is a prominent feature at the annual National Poetry Slam, replete with full costume for the host, Jim Navé from Taos, N.M. or Daniel Ferri.

At GumptionFest VI, we will attempt to hold a Haiku Death Match as similar to the NPS version as possible.

What is haiku?
Haiku (俳句) is a form of Japanese poetry consisting of 17 syllables in three metrical phrases of 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

Japanese haiku typically contain a kigo, or seasonal reference, and a kireji or verbal caesura. In Japanese, haiku are traditionally printed in a single vertical line, while haiku in English usually appear in three lines, to parallel the three metrical phrases of Japanese haiku.

What is slam haiku?
Slam haiku used in a Haiku Death Match is far simpler: Use of three or fewer lines of 17 syllables. Slam haiku can be anything from a single 17-syllable line or simply 17 words. Two of mine:
Traditional 5-7-5 haiku
Serial Killer Haiku
Funny you should ask
my trunk can fit two Boy Scouts
and a grandmother

American 17-syllable haiku
Grammar Haiku:
Why isn't "phonetic" spelled phonetically?
While you think, let's make out

A standard Haiku Death Match is conducted thus:
The host randomly draws the names of two poets, known as haikusters, from the pool of competitors.
The haikusters adorn headbands of two colors: Red and Not-Red (white).
Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Not-Red Haikuster and Host bow to each other.
Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other.
Red Haikuster goes first.
The Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. The audience does not clap or make noise (usually, though, they laugh or vocalize, but, of course, we must pretend that this is completely unacceptable).
The Not-Red Haikuster reads his or her haiku twice. Again, the audience does not clap or make noise.
The host waits for the three judges to make their choice for winner, then signals them to hold aloft their Red or Not-Red flag.
Simple majority (3-0 or 2-1) determines the winner.
The host asks the audience to demonstrate “the sound of one hand clapping,” i.e., silence, then “the sound of two hands clapping,” at which point they can finally applaud. The mock ceremony involving the audience is half the fun.
The winning haikuster then goes first.
Depending on the round, the winner will be best 3 of 5, 4 of 7, best 5 of 9, etc., of a number determined beforehand for each round.
After the duel, Red Haikuster and Not-Red Haikuster bow to each other and shake hands. The next duel begins.
Rules for the GumptionFest VI Haiku Death Match:
  • Titles: Haikusters can read their haiku titles before they read the haiku. (This gives the haikusters technically more syllables to put the haiku in context, but the haiku itself must still be only 17 syllables. While this is not “pure” Haiku Death Match rules, it’s much more fun for the audience.

  • Originality: Poets must be the sole authors of the haiku they use in competition. Plagiarized haiku are grounds for disqualification. We all love Matsuo Bashō, but he’s 300 years too dead to compete.

  • On-page or memorized?: Poets can read from the page, book, journal, notepad, etc.

  • Preparation: Poets can have haiku written beforehand or write them in their head while at the mic. As long as the haiku are 17 syllables, we don’t care how, when or from where the haiku originates.

  • Rounds: Will be determined by the number of haikusters who sign up to compete.

  • Quantity of haiku needed: Depends on the number of rounds. 30 haiku will likely be enough for poets who push rounds to the last haiku needed and go all the rounds, but 50 to 100 gives haikusters enough material to be flexible in competition. Most veteran haikusters have several hundred to compete with.

  • Censorship: Adult themes and language are acceptable. There may be children present so you may have to deal with their parents afterward, but that’s your call.

  • Register: E-mail me at foxthepoet@yahoo.com or GumptionFest at GumptionFest@gmail.com.
What’s the Best Strategy to Win?
  • A winning haikuster is flexible.

  • If your opponent reads a serious or deep haiku, read one that is more serious or more profound, or go on the opposite tack and read something funny.

  • If your opponent reads a funny haiku, read one that is funnier, or go on the opposite tack and read something serious or deep.

  • If your opponent makes fun of you, make fun of yourself even bigger or make fun of them. A good head-to-head haiku can work wonders and often wins a Haiku duel. For instance, my “Damien Flores Haiku,” “Easy way to win: / Damien is 20, Officer, / and he's drunk."

  • If you’re on stage and you get an idea for a haiku, feel free to write it down immediately. That might be the next round’s haiku that wins you the duel.

  • Have a good time. Even if don't get past the first round, it's still a great time for all.
Still Scared of Haiku?
Don't be, they're easy to write. Haiku Death Match haiku are not likely to be remembered centuries from now, so don't stress out. Write short poems that you find entertaining and enjoyable.

Take these examples and see how easy haiku can be. Anonymous haiku:

Haiku are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense ...
refrigerator

she dances lithely
seduction under the moon
I ... hey, a nickel!

My life is Jello
Sitting, waiting in the bowl
Patiently to gel

"Doom" Haiku:
Frag demons for hours
Stare at the screen with red eyes
it's time for class

And some of my haiku:

Traditional 5-7-5 haiku
Mother's Day Haiku
I blacked out last night
no, this isn't my blood but
happy Mother's Day


Heavy Pause Haiku
Then, years afterward,
I realized the problem was ...
...
...
...
... I hesitated

American 17-syllable haiku

Crucifixion Haiku (stolen from a joke by Dan Seaman)
Why did Jesus Christ
die on the cross?
Because he forgot the safe word

Theory of Relativity Haiku
The illusion of light
traps believers in the past
must move faster

Emigration Haiku
America is taxing my dreams
so I'm moving
to Canada

Insurance Haiku
"Drop your pants
and give me $100."
I hate my HMO.

Call Center Haiku
Work is so boring today.
I'll liven it up
with a homicide

Lisa Haiku
Somehow you can make
the words, "fuck me"
the most romantic phrase I know

Atheist Haiku
You ask why I am an atheist?
Fathers are our models
for God

Punk Rock Chick Haiku
Punk band patches
tats, pink hair, pierced attitude ...
I want her to break me

Nearsidedness Haiku
I should have seen
fucking you was dumb;
my testicles need spectacles

Thanksgiving Haiku
Before we start, I
want to say I hate you all.
Pass the salt, aunt Beth

Was it True Love? Haiku
Loving you was
endless disappointment
with moments of denial

And, of course, my more than 50 Chuck Norris haiku